Busy busy busy day.
I had a free personal training thing today.
I am also clearly too hardcore for a personal trainer. I didn’t tell the poor guy to his face that i train until i want to die each time i go to the gym.
And he thought he was working me hard the lamb.
I made a new friend at the rescue centre. Well 3
Bertie the pigeon who likes to sit on your back and shoulder as you clean out cages.
Chubby ther squirrel who sits outside on the avery waiting to steal peanuts
and a fox who hasn’t got an official name but i like to call him Mr Crappy, as he poops on everything.
I think i should also release an album of the songs i took to singing whilst cleaning like
“Can you sing like a chicken”
“Luck be a Bertie tonight”
and crowd favorite “who smells fox poo?”
So off to the Hospital Radio station to meet a station manager who’s name i cant pronounce then zine meeting with ma sistas Arko and Becca
(Although Arko im going to have to bring half of your present because i cant find the other half :-@)
Level 25 Human
If you didn’t know my new website went live this week.
Its a platform for my writing so that i can showcase it and prove i can string a sentence together.
There are a few posts up already.
Regular posts are on Monday Wednesday and Friday
There are interruptions here and there as i feel like i want to post something LIKE NOW! lol.
I can tell i had a busy work day when my RSI plays up. In possibly THE slowest and least demanding job I’ve ever had my cement mixer-esq wrists only ever play up when Ive been trying to do 3 work orders at once to keep myself awake.
(ps- i can only ever triple fist jobs when its a computer based board, a manual test based board and either CPU’s or rework- little bit of nonsense there because no one asked)
Im not one to air my laundry in public but i feel that every now and then something needs to be shared. Like this, my first draft of an email to my most recent ex.
Last night me and a dear friend of mine, a girl i met when she was his girlfriend a few years ago were out last night for my birthday. He was meant to come out for it, but instead tagged along with Amy and avoided me like the plague till he went home. And i mean was the other side of the pub from me and my bros.
Talking to Amy and formulating our notes together, hes a slimy dick head. I’m done defending him. He was ignoring me for a fortnight, yet texting her like mother fucking R2D2 up in that shit. “my biggest regret is dumping you” Like she wants any of his weak ass shit again! It was a pure night of laughing at and not with. It was a full on circle of life thing going on. He ignored Amy, grooming lou behind her back, left Amy for Lou. I would bet money he ignored Lou, getting cozy with me behind her back. Then the Lion King moment, ignoring the shit out of me trying to get back in with Amy behind my back…However this is where the Disney ends with Amy being all like. NOPE!
I don’t expect to be treated like this by anyone, let alone someone i counted as one of my closest friends for 8 years. So as my final bow out to the crazy fucked up world of Ben Pearson, here is the good bye email i almost sent. (Followed by the actual email which i feel whilst short, gets the message across perfectly)
“Okay so i didnt want to message anything whilst drunk last night but dude. i would like to inform you that girls talk and i think i owe it to you to say you just fucked up any friendship you ever had with me.
I hate you i really fucking hate you. How DARE you ignore the shit out of me then turn around and be texting someone else behind my back. Are you stupid or something?! Amy and i talk, we’re bros and you hadnt even left me before you were harkin’ at her back door again. ‘yeah i need to sort my shit out’ LIKE FUCK you’re too much of a pussy to just say ‘you know what you were a rebound fuck, balls out, shouldn’t have gone there’ in fact that seems to be the all round consensus between myself AND Amy. She aint getting involved because your pussy ass shit cant walk into a pub because my fine ass is up in there. Oh and dumping TWO girls by text, let alone more…. no. Dude Ive placed an order for your cock to be replaced with a wet ass vagina.
For the sake of women everywhere, put it down. As for you and me, not that you give a shit but we aint friends, we aint cool, if you seriously want to be my mate later on down the line. Pure out DO NOT talk to me for AT LEAST a year. I need all your crazy out of my life.
Yeah dude, notes have been taken. YOU’RE the crazy one.
out.”
In the end i went for.
“Dude, Sort your shit the fuck out.
Im done”
So I’m single again.
I don’t know what it is. Its like this is one of those video games where everyone is on a higher level than me and I’m still stuck on the intro level trying to work out where the door is.
Super excited
I just paid for my months worth of Driving Lessons. AA are expensive but my driving instructor is really nice, calm and positive so i don’t mind paying a little extra.
I cant wait until im actually driving, i can chuck my bike in the back and fuck off to other towns where book shops exist and cycle round them all day. (The towns, not in the book shops tut tut)
I can go cycling in the woods
I can go wherever i fucking want and not have to worry about trains or my legs giving up on me (i am the kind of twat that will knacker myself cycling somewhere then forgetting i have to do the whole thing again to get home!)
Anyway, im off to the gym in t-minus 20 minutes then food and bath.
Aw yeah, motherfucking bath time.
Its been a super long week but despite the fact that some of the shit the week bought in is still going on, I’m off to London to spend some time with my bro Dan.
And, I’ve got 98% of my christmas shopping out of the way :)
I was making Arko and Beccas presents and i still have glue on my hands!
I’m in Brighton for the wedding of Jess (@psso) and her gentleman Mike.
Came down last night and I’m staying with Lottie (@onedayvintage) and Keenan, and thier 2 cats.
Lottie went to work today at 4am and i woke up, then i started faffing getting water and toilets and stuff to find Kee wide awake, so as you do at 5am we started talking and i started rounding up the cats (not before making more pussy jokes- Ca-Lassic!)
I had a weird dream that i could talk to their hamster Gabriel, and that i was trying to find Ace but he was actually hiding outside of the door and we opened a venue. As you do.
Did remind me that i should probably drop him a message or something, for someone who was Brighton Dad for a long time, i should really make more of an effort.
Oh well, off to the bank!
Date in the woods
Ben and i are off to the woods again tonight, armed with Blankets, Paranormal Activity, Popcorn and cake.
Feeling a lot better now after a night drive with Ben.
Next time i see any of you, ask about the Nigel and Margret stories.
I amaze myself sometimes :)
